Ghosting: What if we stopped telling ourselves stories? – an article by Romain Buob for Bilan
22.04.2026
Candidates, recruiters, clients — everyone has been someone’s ghost at some point. But an unanswered message isn’t always a sign of disrespect: when faced with silence, we need a measure of tolerance and self-awareness — and we shouldn’t hesitate to follow up.
Radio silence: that abyss that follows a job interview or a networking coffee. Today, we call it “ghosting.” It has become the scapegoat for all our digital frustrations. Yet between deliberate disengagement and simple organizational hiccups, the issue deserves a more objective and nuanced look.
The end of the one-sided trial
Recruiters often take the blame, particularly in French-speaking Switzerland, where “no response” is almost seen as a tradition. It can feel dismissive, as if you’ve been ignored or brushed aside with a click.
But let’s be honest — there are two sides to the story. As a headhunter, I see executives disappear after passionately explaining why they were the perfect fit for a role. I also see clients vanish after a tender process. Ghosting may simply be part of the human condition. The good news? We’ve all been, at least once, either the ghost or the ghosted. That shared experience should help us better understand the phenomenon — and avoid lumping everything together.
Is it really ghosting?
Not every silence is a shameful disappearance from someone lacking courage or courtesy. We can broadly split it into two categories:
Real ghosting: cutting ties on purpose to avoid confrontation. Not great…
False ghosting: a sick child, 200 unread emails, an internal decision dragging on. That’s just life.
There are, in other words, mitigating circumstances on the “ghoster’s” side. And then there’s the initial outreach that went unanswered. Here, a bit of honest self-reflection is needed — with some detachment. Maybe the message was ill-timed, poorly targeted, or completely impersonal. Labeling every unanswered LinkedIn message as “ghosting” is a stretch. If you’re blasting copy-paste messages to everyone, silence is to be expected. It’s not disrespect — it’s digital survival.
My (unpopular) advice: follow up
We’re often afraid of coming across as pushy. I think that’s a mistake. In an attention-scarce economy, your message may simply have slipped through the cracks. Follow up once, twice, even three times — politely, but clearly. If you don’t get a reply, it may just be that the day got away from them. In fact, I often say it: feel free to follow up with me. Of course, this requires a fair dose of social intelligence to strike the right balance.